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Peripheries of Hollywood

by A Study in Her

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1.
This city is an imperfect sphere of protection and apparently I’ve got an open invitation across my face and in my hands to an ugly Indiana. To a sick history. Mistaxonomy and bad feng shui. The wrong minority. It is way past far too late to leave with dignity and I won’t be party. Your assessment of the situation, 3:15 am and getting later. We know what we look like on the front lawn. So empty your cup, lift up your glass. When you went too far, you didn’t go far enough.
2.
It’s the/my end, it's my hand/these are my escaped lungs; your throat breaths now on its own, without me again/short-circuit last orgasmic stand, without anyone ever again.like reality TV the show’s over and you’re over, so hit the lights on your way down. What’s so wrong about being like this? and keep me mesmerized, feeling more and more alive, what’s so wrong with this? on tape knife point pricks; breath juggler, real camera tricks making partners videotaped; partner reduction caught on videotape; on ten point tense point plans; barter breath for real life plans; silent nights to be celibate, sexless nights to be celebrated
3.
So it’s come to this, a fight to death at dawn. you bring your fingertips and withholdings I’ll come armed with indifference and whisky sharpened wit, in a war of communication, you should know by now, silence always wins. fire stoked/measured in sixes, tricks for/tricks for sexes, and better broke/ until our fixes, come last for/last for kisses, breath for contention, tricks for concessions, feigned confessions, trained possession, bitter kisses/better to miss, left the mess/for the masses. so in this battle of attrition you should know by now that you can burn me alive and I can burn you alive. I will always win.
4.
He was dreaming these hands are not my own, she is programmed I will cost you, in that robo-street lexicon, giant creatures rule the jungle (yes they do) brutal force wielding technocrats. this is cocaine made from rust. it’s only left in dreams, I stared up at him, that magnificent beast, I offered my arms. cut rip; cut it up, rip it out; do the crime; this is cocaine made from rust, it’s only left in dreams, this is paid for discrete trust. red colored lines, that magnificent beast.
5.
I am a canal to be closed, guilt fed and hungry, I am a working body put to good use; and don’t be shy with me, constant unending, dislocating the threat to be; don’t fall under zero, don’t wish to erase again, don’t disappear on me and don’t be the only casualty, don’t be the one who empties, don’t be the one the one whose body I come to find; unending dislocation put to good use.
6.
Peripheries of Hollywood, three initialed men, gods taken in framed margins celluloid transfer filmed and still the state of the nation; on side streets, sighted stars, sliding tectonics; two cities thousands of miles apart, upper caste attacked, old tongues not in tact, shot for the small and crushed by lack of lakhs; heart entry from the hospital bed, indisputable disappearance again; the man his lines, his face the party line, his voice the pockets of every man (whose) election time rides on the tickets spelled DMK; figure it out inside out to motivate the polls to upset the one-party program; heart entry from the hospital bed, indisputable disappearance again; peripheries of Hollywood, margins of film that spell(ed) MGR DMK EVR; a world we’ll only read about, we’ll write ourselves all over again and only live in as ghosts outside of every shot, overhearing every thought. peripheral, marginal, outside of our dreams of
7.
Unconcerned with causality, history makes for bad listening, to engine pulling, firsts and lasts; being the first was never the best reason for longevity, markings for actuality, down-turned eyes, unmotivated breaths lifeless still; twenty eight and still on sound.
8.
Re-listening revisited on replay; these are notes that themselves require notes that are in the right form/dialogic form
9.
Street lights shine straight up and straight through lazy snow letting haze, a thin stretch/form (to reach, a next order, orthogonal, indexical: first content then form, then we’ll know where we’re going; I see Halifax on fire, a frozen coast with fingers extended in a electric traced figure/extended all the way inside us. ready to freeze/waiting to be: alone, cold, still.
10.
For 10 years, or 18 months, all highways east and west lead home; a lonely six hundred miles between leaving and arrival; a sore throat from this empty pack of cigarettes a sign it won’t be long; under the asphalt, behind the traffic cones, an unending swell; it’s an offer that’s always open, another chance to get it right; for 10 years, or 18 months, separating old and new; this highway is a connecting ribbon, this highway an asphalt rope tying welcome to welcome; under the asphalt, behind the traffic cones, scrawled on the toll tickets, you can’t go anywhere.
11.
(And) you/I’ll be a/the democrat and I’ll/you’ll be Nixon, you can scream (at me/yourself) out loud like I’m/you’re on the television; I don’t remember cold hands like this, I don’t seem to remember much of anything at all; this is your funeral and I’ll stand in for/by you

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Honest in Secret Records. Designed by Eric Haag.

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released November 1, 2005

Performed, recorded, mixed, mastered by Constantine Nakassis, except where noted.

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A Study in Her Chicago, Illinois

ASiH is Constantine Nakassis, with Philip Apostol, Andrew Black, Tamara Black, Lucas Carscadden, Julie Cousin, Shakthisree Gopalan, Michael Guggino, Alex Hedstrom, Judith Kaplan, Fluke Lemming, Magda Nakassis, Kyung Nan-Koh, Mike Mikowicz, Jonathon Moser, Justin Moyer, Elsie Muñiz, Kedarnath Sairam, Pavan Segal ... more

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